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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

14.06.2025 00:45

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

True - how I loved my mum!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Why do some people have sex with dogs?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do conservative white women like black men?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

Do you know what she said mum?

How would you advertise if you wanted to be a "tour guide" who can take you through the dark web while warning you what not to look at and not to click on?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?